Do you ever let yourself down? I let myself down when I over plan and don’t get done what I have planned. I let myself down when I, in effect, tell God, ”Don’t be concerned about me; I’ve got this. It is Dot-sized.” I let myself down when I depend on self, instead of asking for God to transform me. Just for today, LORD, give me the serenity to do the things I can do, to get up once again. I need to pray often the words of the serenity prayer:
“God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
that should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen.” American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr

My thought of this came about today because I try to adhere most days to a three-meals-a-day eating plan with planned snacks. I headed from the living room and Facebook, through the kitchen to our bedroom. That is, it should have been through the kitchen. Unfortunately. I saw on the counter a jar of crunchy peanut butter that someone (when I use a lowercase “s,”I am the guilty party. When I capitalize the “S,” He is the culprit.) had left out. What should have been a conscious decision was unconscious progression. “Oh, there’s peanut butter. I like peanut butter. I haven’t had anything sweet in hours. I like sweets. I need sweets. I’ll eat peanut butter.” Actually, with no thought at all, not even considering if I could ask God to bless my split-second action, I had grabbed a spoon, twisted open the jar, dived in with my spoon, and had it in my mouth before I realized what I was doing.

Yes, I was having one of those “I’m tired (awoke too early at five a.m.), but I can handle this on my own” days. How quickly God’s spirit can nudge me to see that in all things I am to make my requests unto God. You know, there really is peace when we surrender our wills and ours ways to God.


About Dot Ainsworth Day

After 25 years in the classroom as an English teacher and over twenty years as a family therapist, I am confined to home with a muscular dystrophy and have begun to write: my family history, MEMORIES OF THE SHARECROPPER'S FAMILY, was published February 27, 2017. Through this blog, I hope you enjoy learning more about muscular dystrophy, the (ahem) joys of having a caregiver or care partner and the management of daily activities. THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR is a short story now being stretched into a novel. A TASTE FOR MURDER, a family story of murder discussed on another blog and in the family history, is still in the first draft stage. Note: Writing a novel based on real characters and avoiding offense or lawsuit is difficult enough. Its being a first novel and my learning the intricacies of dialogue and plotting​ have made for a slow learning curve.
This entry was posted in If ILove You, Lord, Why Am I still Fat? and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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